Why I Choose to Share Moments With Strangers at the End of Their Journey

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Most of us will likely only encounter spending significant time with someone who is dying just a few times throughout our lives.

For Hazel Orchard, this happens every week.

Hazel works as a volunteer at a hospital where she dedicates her time to listen compassionately to terminally ill patients.

This position entails listening attentively, engaging in difficult conversations like those about care plans, and merely being available whenever family members require respite or a break.

Although it caused her pain and sorrow, she admitted that it had also made her life more fulfilling.

"I will not downplay the emotion at all; it remains very intense," stated Hazel from Cardiff.

However, to assist individuals throughout their voyage as their bodies gradually make their way towards their ultimate destination is nothing short of an honor.

Hazel, who is 65 years old, started volunteering with Marie Curie in September and has since assisted ten patients, three of whom have passed away.

She mentioned, 'I often go, sit down, and light a candle for them and their loved ones.'

I find it crucial to convey my personal sorrow in a manner that allows me to rejuvenate and replenish myself, so as to keep providing the necessary care to the patients under my support.

Even though Hazel currently has great enthusiasm for the job, her initial reaction when she first encountered this opportunity on social media was quite different; she wasn’t at all interested.

"I initially thought ‘There’s nothing more terrible than this,’ so I moved past it," stated Hazel, who has been retired following her work in child services.

Nevertheless, intriguingly, it continued to linger in my thoughts throughout the following week, and I often caught myself contemplating it.

I returned to it later and figured 'why not?'.

Once she completed her training and obtained her Disclosure and Barring Service (DBS) check, she started volunteering at Cardiff's University Hospital of Wales.

She mentioned that her initial assignment was only supposed to last for 48 hours, yet she got the opportunity to spend two weeks visiting and supporting this individual.

He told her that his passing affected her deeply.

She mentioned that they had begun to understand each other deeply and engage in challenging discussions about mortality.

A different patient she supported struggled with discussing her circumstances.

Hazel found out she liked word search puzzles, so she created some for herself featuring words that could act as good icebreakers.

As of January, she has been assisting a man diagnosed with lung and blood cancer.

She now goes to see him every week at his house since he was released.

She mentioned that they engage in profound discussions about life.

He speaks openly with me regarding his diagnosis and cancer, and I'd say our connection continues to develop. It's an honor for me to still be part of his journey.

Hazel mentioned that some patients refrain from discussing their concerns related to death with their families so as not to disturb them.

That’s why they see me as someone simpler to converse with and share their feelings since I remain unbiased.

What topics do individuals typically wish to discuss when they realize they only have weeks or days remaining?

"Definitely family, family, family," stated Hazel.

You notice the face brighten as it recalls life experiences.

Some individuals will return to their younger years.

She mentioned that people were frightened by what they didn't know.

She expressed that her heart and soul ache seeing and hearing fear and anxiety in people who aren’t sure where they’re headed.

Certain individuals feel inclined to discuss their regrets.

Their unfulfilled desires include things they haven’t gotten around to doing—such as vacations, changes they wished to implement at home or in their garden, activities related to their hobbies, or even matters concerning their family.

On multiple occasions, she mentioned hearing remorse over failing to mend a fractured connection.

She mentioned that there’s a sense of sorrow because the restoration hasn’t occurred yet.

Hazel mentioned that she started attempting to lead a more straightforward existence prior to her volunteer work, though these experiences have even further motivated her in this direction.

She stated, 'We’re led to think that our success and elevated status come from our careers, the amount of money in our banks, grand houses, international vacations, and luxurious vehicles—absolutely not so.'

Material possessions hold less importance for me than life itself.

Eve Morse, who is 63 years old and resides in Upper Killay, Swansea, also dedicates her time as a volunteer for Marie Curie.

She has been a companion For two years, assisting Dave, who suffers from dementia, along with his spouse, Peggy.

After her father-in-law received care at home for six months from Marie Curie nurses, she chose to become involved.

Dave, 82, was told by doctors he was expected to live for about a year - that was two-and-half years ago.

Initially, when Eve started visiting Dave and Peggy at their house in Goytre, Port Talbot, she frequently took him to his nearby rugby club. This allowed him to spend time with his buddies.

She mentioned that she became acquainted with everyone there, they would chat, play music on the jukebox, and he would sing along.

You could tell he was deteriorating, yet he continued to enjoy his life and remained involved in everything.

He had quite a presence, and everybody recognized him through his work at the steel mill, singing with the choir, playing both football and rugby. So when folks showed up during the initial weeks, they would greet him with hugs and kisses; it felt wonderful.

This provided Peggy, who is 79 years old, with some badly needed relief.

If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have been able to take a shower or do anything at all,” she told Eve.

He would jump all over the place inside the house, attempting to get out and managed to do so multiple times.

Now Dave resides in an assisted living facility, and each week Eve picks up Peggy so they can go see him together. Afterward, Eve takes Peggy out for lunch.

“It simply warms your heart knowing that you can give back to these wonderful individuals,” stated Eve.

They didn’t ask for this situation... It’s truly gratifying to provide them with some respite and offer affection and camaraderie; being able to do so feels like an honor.

Eve is ready to be there for Dave and Peggy when he finally passes away.

“I have no worries about that because once you come to love a family, they become intertwined with your heart,” she stated.

Peggy mentioned that she frequently became "somewhat sentimental" when discussing Eve.

"She is truly amazing; she’s one of my closest friends, though I occasionally feel frustrated when she overcommits herself," she explained.

She mentioned that Eve's backing made it simpler to confront what lay ahead.

"Dave is declining, but I believe that when his time arrives, it will be far simpler for him with Eve present," she stated.

I am aware that Eve will remain present even beyond David's time since she has turned into a close companion.

I believe God was truly supportive of me when He bestowed upon me Eve.

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