To avoid 'awkward, superficial' small talk, make one little change, says communication expert

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Small talk can have a bad reputation. It can come across as awkward, shallow, and meaningless if it's not done well.

Exude a strong, confident presence and even boost your mood.

They can also predict answers to questions such as:

• "How are you?"
• "How's the weather?"
• "How was your weekend?"

When you ask autopilot questions, you can almost be certain to receive autopilot responses:

• I'm doing fine, thank you. How about you?
• "It's so cold!"
• My weekend was good, thanks. How about yours?

.

The ability to engage in threaded conversations

Conversational threading is a technique that leads to more meaningful interactions by creating or building on "threads" – or engaging little pieces of information that encourage more flowing and interesting conversation.

You can find someone to ask about how to improve your English skills in various everyday situations like a networking event, a team meeting, a party, or even in a line at a coffee shop.

Here's how to use this:

5. I can assist with educational tasks, such as helping

Let's say you're asked the autopilot question "How was your weekend?" Instead of giving a rote answer, you might say: "My weekend was fantastic! I went hiking and celebrated my niece's birthday." You've now opened up two conversational pathways: They can ask about my hike or my niece.

Here are a few more examples to help you improve your responses to common casual conversation starters:

What brings you to this place/event?

"I'm here for work."

I'm here looking to gain more knowledge about [X topic] to assist my team in reaching [Y goal]. I'm looking forward to connecting with others with similar interests. How about you?

"How are you?"

I'm doing fine. Keeping pretty busy, as expected.

I'm doing well! Work has been keeping me pretty busy, but I've just started a new project that I'm really enthusiastic about. How about you?

"How's it going?"

Everything is going well from my perspective.

I've been focused on completing [X project] and I'm looking forward to presenting it at the company-wide meeting next week. I'd appreciate your feedback afterwards!

Don't meddle in the affairs of others.

Active listening is crucial if you want to identify topics to explore further. For instance, if you ask someone where they're from and they reply with "San Francisco," our natural instinct is to then share where we are from, and then the conversation may stall.

What is your favorite part about living there?

You can also share your own stories about San Francisco to keep the conversation going. When you share more about yourself, it can often encourage the other person to open up and share more as well.

If you're having trouble figuring out what to say next because the other person isn't giving you any clues, make an observation about something you see. This can be especially helpful in situations like video calls, where you can comment on or ask about something in that person's background, such as a piece of art or photo (or the virtual background they've chosen).

Ask more insightful questions to guide the conversation.

You can encourage more engaging conversation by adjusting your small talk questions to better facilitate conversational flow. For instance:

"How are you?"

What are you looking forward to working on?

"How was your weekend?

What was the most exciting part of your weekend?

What brought you to this event?

What's been the most enjoyable part of our conversation so far?

Having a few key questions at the ready can be especially useful if you're still getting the hang of this technique.

Use positive language

Using small talk questions and responses that include words like "excited," "highlight," and "favorite" can make you and the other person more likely to think positively about your conversation.

I encourage you to incorporate uplifting language and build on connections during your future conversations. I'm looking forward to seeing you have more engaging and meaningful discussions ahead!

Lorraine K. Lee She is a distinguished virtual keynote speaker and CEO of RISE Learning Solutions, and she is also the best-selling author of Unforgettable Presence: Get Noticed, Become a Influential Leader, and Launch Your Career to New Heights This book was named a must-read by the Next Big Idea Club. She teaches popular courses through LinkedIn Learning and Stanford Continuing Studies. Past clients include Zoom, Cisco, LinkedIn, ASICS, McKinsey & Company, and many other organizations.

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