A dating expert explains why living apart keeps the spark alive in older relationships

Table of Contents

• A recent study discovered that older couples who reside separately can still experience some mental health advantages.
• A relationship expert stated that older individuals are generally more self-sufficient and have a strong sense of tradition.
• This openness to living on one's own expands the potential pool of potential partners, especially for older women.

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Together, but separate - that's the appealing relationship setup for older couples, also known as "living apart together" or "LAT."

or You're unhappy in your current living situation or looking to relocate for various reasons, such as a change of scenery, a new job opportunity, or a long-term stay in another city.

I've seen this trend thriving, particularly among older couples,

They're saying, 'I have my own home set up to my liking, and you have yours set up however you like it,' Ury said. 'Why don't we commit to a long-term relationship, but we don't need to live together?'

It's not just practical. Ury said living apart, together has a lot of advantages - especially for older daters.

It significantly expands your dating options.

If you're okay with having your own living space, it can lead to dating a wider variety of people. It's often easier to handle differences in your social life or hobbies when you live separately than when you're searching for someone whose lifestyle exactly matches yours.

He said this is especially appealing to older individuals. When you're however older and looking to start a family, "you want someone maybe with the same religion, the same lifestyle, the same education," he said.

But for older people who are dating and don't want to have children together, focusing on all these traditional relationship milestones is often less of a priority. Living apart allows each person to maintain their independence and live their own separate lives – and that can actually be beneficial for a relationship.

You have more flexibility to hold onto what you want.

Companionship would allow couples to maintain their preferred lifestyle while enjoying romantic relationships.

According to research by Lancaster University and University College London, older women presumably derive the most benefits from this arrangement. Women often shouldering more domestic responsibilities in marriage or living with a partner, might find "more to gain than older men from LAT" by having more freedom and autonomy.

Because individuals who are familiar with their bodies are more skilled at asking for specific needs and desires.

"People tend to be resistant to change; they're less open to adjusting their methods and stick to what's familiar to them," Ury said.

According to Ury, younger couples who move in together are similar to startup businesses that grow and develop together. However, adults merging their lives who are moving in together resemble business mergers which can be difficult. "Mergers are typically challenging because presumably each person has their own organizational unit, their own management, as she said. "It can be difficult to integrate those systems."

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